Sunday, June 28, 2009

My newest hobby

Arbitrarily assigning nicknames to people. If you don't have one yet, just wait. You'll soon join the ranks of Team Sister's Bed, Cocktail Dress, Chuckster, Tits McGee, Stumbles, Notre Dame, Grad School, and Team Sledgehammer.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Everybody Down

A few more things:

-I found a voice recorder in my house. Those of you who know me should know exactly what I intend to use this for, and how amazing it will be.

-Someone kicked my garage door last night and left a big fkkn footprint. That was more than a little bit creepy. I'm assuming these were Daniel's enemies/punkass friends.

-I swam today and in a practice 100 free, hit my freshman year of high school time. Maybe I'm not in as bad of shape as I thought. Then again, I was a fkkn horrible swimmer freshman year of high school.

-I've been hit on by girls recently, which is a step in the right direction, I suppose. The girl at Moe's Monday said I smelled good, and a super-cougar at the pool today said I was handsome. So you know, at least these are females.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Everything that begins as a comedy ends as an empty laugh on your back porch.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Over My Head

A few more updates:

-I think the Antlers' album is rivaling Grizzly Bear for best of the year.

-I'm completely addicted to Law and Order. Case in point, it came on last night at 11. I was already tired. I stayed up till 2 am watching it, then watched the end of Good Will Hunting.

-Speaking of which, I've decided that I want to marry Minnie Driver's character from that film. I figure I just call her up and be all, "Yo, want an acting gig? For the rest of your life?"

-I was at Starbucks tonight and a guy came over and gave me a napkin with his number on it. This marks the second time that something like this has happened recently, as I got a facebook message from someone I've never met before basically asking the same thing last week. Now, I have absolutely no problem with homosexuals whatsoever, but it makes me wonder: do I give off the impression that I'm gay? Or are these guys just naturally brazen and approach any guy regardless of his perceived sexuality? Because if it's the first one, this could explain why my love life has been such a train wreck. Also, I feel like I should text this kid and be like, "Yo, sorry dude." I mean, it just seems rude to ignore him, am I right here?

These Are Things

My mother is convinced that I had a girl over at 2 am last night, because she heard us talking. The only thing is that I was sitting on the couch watching Law and Order at 2 am, and there was definitely no one else here at that point (that I know of....). Given how straightforward I've been with my parents all summer, it's weird that all day she's been convinced that someone was here, though I've told her otherwise. But then again she's marginally insane from time to time, so I guess it's not that surprising.

I'm about done with this whole not raining thing: please start raining agin. Not even because I want my lessons cancelled, just because it would be nice for it to rain.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Last update about lessons, I swear

My one tonight farted in the water, multiple times. It's taken me six years, and now, now I've seen or heard everything.

It's like, kind of still tax return season, and so I feel like spending money on myself. The only problem is that I didn't get any returns with my taxes. I got a bill for more, and a warning that I can't declare myself eligible to withhold anymore. So really, I don't have extra cash to spend on myself. Maybe I'll get myself some fiscal irresponsibility presents instead. Or some "Damn, it's nice to not pay for meals at home" presents, since home does have the redeeming factor of almost no expenses.

That's about it in terms of redeeming factors though, and as much as I love everyone down here, I can't wait for fall to start. My little brother is making a blog. I'm not sure if I should follow him or not. Probably anonymously. We'll see.

Oh and Animal Collective in three phrases or less: music was awesome, crowd was a doucheopolis, miss mah friendz.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Our Dreams Escape Fire

Keeping with tradition, another update about my lessons: almost all of them are absolutely adorable this year, which is a nice change from bratty rich kids that I'm used to. Parents are an entirely different matter, as I'm convinced that most of them are marginally insane. I'm wondering if this is something that happens to all people when they have children, or only when they have children, rich husbands, no job, and large disposable incomes.

I ordered 2666 today because I needed an extra $15 to get free shipping on Amazon, and because it's $10 cheaper there than the list price, but also because I absolutely loved Savage Detectives, as you all are more than aware. It's something like 988 pages. Add this to Gravity's Rainbow and right there you have a summer reading list built on masochism.

I have a feeling my blackboard email isn't working. By that I mean I know there were emails sent to me that I have not received. This is very upsetting, because there's a chance that I should have heard back from a few different publications, who now think that I am snubbing them because I haven't responded. Things like this keep me up at night, even though it's far more likely that they just didn't send me anything in the first place.

My knees hurt today. No idea why. Perhaps I'm dying; pretty sure this is a symptom of bird flu (what up 2004 reference?).

Saturday, June 6, 2009


My lesson pooped in the pool today. Thankfully, it was after I had gotten out of the water. For those keeping score at home, that makes it two gross things my lessons have done, and zero that have happened to me.

Friday, June 5, 2009


False alarm on 8:30 lessons meant that I got up infinity hours earlier than I needed to, but seeing as I've gotten about 12 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours, this wasn't a big deal. I've been listening to Beirut a lot recently, and by recently I mean today, but Ifeel that I grossly overlooked how good Realpeople Holland is. March of the Zapotec is only ok, but I'm really digging Realpeople.

I should go to the gym at some point today, and I might, but right now I really just want to read and write and enjoy how it's like, almost raining, and has been on and off all day. Sometimes I think I could totally live in Seattle, although other times I realize that I do like sunshine a lot.

Ice Cream man in my neighborhood is very annoying. He must know that there are children in my house and my neighbor's house, because he always pauses in our court. It's easy to say he's a child molester, and funny too, but most likely he's poor and trying to keep his family afloat. Doesn't mean that I appreciate his music or want to buy ice cream from him, just that he's more of a tragic than a comic figure, if you really think about it.

My fingers are shaking. I really haven't had caffeine in a long time, as these two cups of coffee are totally affecting me.